Saturday, July 13, 2013

Day 11 A Letter to Someone Who Has Hurt You Recently

This is going to be awkward to type to those who know will usually be speechless and don't know how to react, which leads to an awkward silence as well. Remaining this post as an anonymous might be stupid also, because I'm not brave enough to reveal myself. Having said that maybe I would just write to several person that way it will be to whomever. If you are feeling extra self-conceit today you should feel bad after reading maybe haha.

An Open Letter with an open heart.

Dear you (all),

       Why you guys are still sleeping at night is because I have higher EQ so fuck you :)

I think it has been sometime I never really trusted a guy who will treat you nice just because he is nice. Who would do such things without their benefits? As what I always experience a guy would only treat me nice because he is interested and when they know they have no chance they stop being nice ie:- driving you places, surprising you, getting things that you crave, making sure your bottle is filled with water for that matter, etc.

I don't know. Although the title says well..., what it says. I don't hate you for doing that for that matter. When I mention 'that matter' it involves love. I don't think I will ever regret that for happening in my life, I have to thank you instead for letting me experience as well as 'composing' this chapter of my book. You might have brought me around the mulberry bush but I decided I can walk myself in the end. What I hated was the amount of self pity at times I would put on myself, I felt every betrayal and hated doubted every fairytale. I might be selfish for leaving but I would be stupid if I hadn't leave. I would rather leave than have myself in that fked up situation.

I'm constantly the first one leaving and calling the shots whenever a relationship I don't have confidence in. Over the years I've become realistic and don't you dare utter the word forever to me. uh. I hate this topic lol. The concept on 'love yourself before you love others' is protecting yourself first before you let yourself be a sucker. Nothing should make you feel any less than you are. So stand up when you fall, because everyone is watching.

-Though cry when no one is..

Ever had that spike behind your nostrils, that blood shot eyes.. nevertheless; if its not worth it.. Always look up to the lights and hold your tears in. Never cease to make decisions that you cant sleep at night. Reread the previous sentence.. '...make decisions...' not excuses. Live in a state where you can be responsible for your own happiness instead of letting others affect you.

Of all that has happen will naturally make me grow and change my perspective towards how I look at things now. Third party of a relationship isn't always the one with fault. Instead third party of a relationship is always 'destiny'.. either that or orgasms.

I can't tell you how people look at me when I told them what had happen. I'm not as strong as I think I am at times. I suppress all that where I cant let anyone know that I'm this pathetic kid. But time will still go on, the days that you are struggling with will pass. We all advice the ones who are worry with something like this always, "Everything will be okay." Gradually everything would be.

I wouldn't say that 'those guys' dont matter in my life, I mean of course they mattered if not there will not be existence of this post. What is important is it don't matter anymore, that's all.
Glad that this closure has happened for me :) I can't wait for the ones in future. I still sincerely bless your partners.


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